Headcanon that Ivan once got completely trashed at a bar, but when he came home he was just so sweet and cuddly that Alfred didn’t suspect a thing. He didn’t have any sickness or slurring.
But the next morning - Ivan doesn’t even have a hangover - they start getting frisky in bed, causing Alfred to accidentally hit the remote. The TV turns on to reveal a blurry picture of Ivan with the headline “DRUNK MAN HOLDS HOSTAGE BARTENDER AND FORCES HIM TO REENACT THE EXECUTION OF KING LOUIS AND MARIE ANTOINETTE ATOP BAR ROOF WITH HIM.”
Alfred pries Ivan off him to point to the screen. Ivan slowly confesses that, “I may have been more drunk than initially estimated.”
He freaking blacked out.